i passed. word.

I did it. I finally did it. Okay, so it hasn’t been THAT long since I started taekwondo, but I felt like I was a white belt FOREVER. Last Friday I had my first test and earned my yellow belt (next step orange, then green, purple, blue, brown, red, black- it varies depending on what school you are at, but I am pretty sure that is the order of mine). The greatest thing about it is that I took my test with Kathleen, and we shall be taking all of our belt tests together. I can’t wait to ‘spar’ (aka FIGHT) her. Good times.

Looking nice and frumpy in my uniform, but what does it matter because that board has been broken in TWO. Don't mess with me.

the belt testers and their masters, way to be different and not hold up your certificate kathleen

one step closer to that all powerful black belt

Before I even became an official yellow belt Master Kang asked if I would be a judge at the tournament they were having with the little kiddies. I said I would love to as long as I didn’t have to wear my uniform, I would be so embarrassed standing there with my yellow belt while little nine-year-old red belts were sparring and kicking boards and ultimately being a trillion times better than me.  The tournament was the day after my yellow belt test and it was the highlight of my weekend. There was one little boy who was about two inches tall with the teeniest uniform and I wanted to scoop him up and pinch his cheeks. Being the professional that I am of course I didn’t do this.

the two boys without uniforms obviously got disqualified. JUST KIDDING. they still got second and third in their division. the more serious kid in his tight uniform definitely took home first.

this girl could probably hurt me

sparring, I can do this too

Besides getting my taekwondo fill in this weekend I also forced three friends to go biking with me on Saturday. It has become a favorite activity of mine since the weather started warming up and I literally have to find different people to go with me every Saturday. Every time I take a new person though they LOVE IT and want to do it again. So there. This past Saturday morning I brought Jennifer, Saet, and Yohan to the Han River where we enjoyed anhour of bike rental fun (for less than 3 USD, awesome). The best part was getting Yohan (also known as John, I like to switch between the English and Korean version of his name, makes life more interesting) to try the traditional Korean style of swinging. Apparently this is an actual sport in Korea (swinging standing up) but it is only for the ladies, because frankly, the men aren’t very good at it. Yohan proved this to be absolutely true.

FAIL

Jennifer is a pro, obviously.

Saet's artistic picture. Love it.

It's okay Yohan, we don't care if you can't swing, only because you have a British accent though... but really, that is the ONLY reason. (Building 63 in the background)

another champion on the swing

I have totally done this before, freaking love these swings.

jennifer trying to show john how it is done. he ended up getting a push from saet. cheater.

I, unfortunately, forgot my heels at home.

Rain was forecast the whole week for Saturday (I was so excited to bike after being devastatingly sick all week that I checked the hour by hour weather every morning and night, hoping it would change, or just be lying to me) and as you can tell by the pictures it turned out to be a GORGEOUS DAY. I got burnt on my forearms. Fantastic.

I also had the pleasure of seeing one of my favorite musicals this weekend, the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee performed by the Seoul Players in Itaewon. They gave a much better performance than I expected, which was a delight, some of them can REALLY sing.

I don’t want to start any rumors but…

Korea, you are just like all the boyfriends I have ever dated (all two of them), you get me to fall in love with you. And then you break my heart. And then you may possible get me to fall in love with you again, with the same ending reaction.

Why Korea, why? Subways are kept super clean, yet old men are constantly spitting (the street, the mall, it doesn’t matter) I know I rant and rave about this ALL THE TIME (hence, the name of my blog) BUT REALLY. Is it too much to ask to NOT do that? I just don’t think it is.

Every time I find a delicious meal that I can enjoy because it is not spicy, the restaurant closes or they stop carrying that dish (this has legitimately happened to me about three times now). I more often get a shove or hiss or ‘shhh!” or glare than the kindness of a stranger and therefore when someone says a simple ‘excuse me’ i almost cry from joy. The other day I was traveling from church number 1 to church number 2 (yes, I love Jesus that much, one is an English service and one is in Korean- I’d like to say I understand every word. LIE. I have a translator) and I had the WORST headache, there were no seats on the subway causing me to lean against a metal bar they have every so often between seats. A man saw that I was having a rough time of it and five minutes into my journey he insisted I take his seat. This happened weeks ago and I am still thinking about it. What a nice man.

I hear nonstop praises for the fall and spring seasons in this land and then experience the coldest winter in a hundred years followed by the shortest spring. Why Korea, why????

And one last thing… Men run amuck in this city. Women are trained from birth to do chores and be a good wife. boys don’t handle any household work and are told to study to get a good job so they can have a nice wife who will sit at home and make them meals. Join the 21st century where men and women are equals. Think about it.

Now it’s time for pictures, I LOVE PICTURES!

I don't want to start any rumors... but did Barack Obama visit South Korea about ten years ago?

The kid on the left probably raised his hand with full intentions to answer a question, kids get sidetracked easily? No....

The kids love it when I take over the second half of class, GAME TIME.

Let's throw in a black and white photo just for fun. Love my kiddies!

I am so funny, that's why they always laugh at me... right?

At the salon, seconds away from getting all my hair chopped off. My before shot.

The next day, eating shabu shabu for the first time and sporting my new look!

such a good konglish find Amanda had to try it on... oh, Korea...

I thought this long winded shirt would turn out to be something sweet, pretty shocked by the ending. BUT REALLY? Did you ever have the slightest intention to stay??? ANSWER ME.

Waiting to use the toilet. This isn't awkward at all.

What was originally a feeling of disgust has turned into one of my favorite things about Korean couples. Matchy-match.

That’s all for now. Peace out, girl scout.

It’s my BIRTHDAY.

For those of you who may be wondering why I have time to write a post on my birthday there is NO NEED to think of me as a loser. Because I am far, far from it. I happen to do my lesson planning very quickly, and yet I am given all afternoon, every afternoon to get it done. HOURS of free time! (Don’t tell my work.)

Since it is my birthday I decided to actually get ready before going to work today, instead of throwing on my pretend dress up adult clothes (the usual button up shirt and black pants) I put on something trendy and even accessorized (scarf, earrings, a ring, the whole shebang). The biggest change was my face; glasses off, contacts in, and a dash of makeup (that I have never worn to school).

I walk into my first class and all of the students gasp.    “Who are you?”

They think they are so funny. Well, actually they are, besides the point. One girl came into my office to put something on another teachers desk and did a double take… “Melody Teacher?” She asked, with genuine curiosity, she honestly wasn’t sure.

This is what I love about going to school all natural, it doesn’t take much to impress them when I put in a little effort. Not that I am not beautiful without makeup (I love myself, really), but shocking people is so much fun.

I also had twelve students from one of my sixth grade classes barge into the office singing “Happy Birthday!” in English and Korean while shoving a bazillion cards into my hands.

Love it, I am loving this.

the things they say…

“Teacher,” 5th grade students points to my stomach as I leaned against an unoccupied desk in the back of the classroom, she then proceeds to grab the small ounce of fat on her own belly.

“Yes, it’s called fat,” I said as I point to my stomach too.

“It’s okay teacher, I have too.” Oh yeah, whole lot of fat on you for a skinny little fifth grader. Thanks for the reassurance though. So  Sweet.

just your average week of riding in a cop car, getting my fingerprints, being sent to the principals office for being bad, and blindfolding the kiddies.

I got a new job for this fall (wha-hoooo!) on the opposite side of the city, which requires me to redo all of the paperwork I had to do when I first came to Korea. Therefore, I have to get my fingerprints taken here and mail them back to Michigan.  I am in love with my state at the moment, I was emailed back multiple times within HOURS of asking how the process works with me out of the country. Laurie from the State of Michigan, you are my new best friend.

On Tuesday I headed over to my local police station with a piece of paper explaining what I needed in Korean. The police officers ate, smiled, and stared at me with curiosity and there was a lot of finger-pointing (as in point to our fingers, not ‘it was you, admit it!’). I was finally able to conclude that they were too small to take my finger prints and I had to go to a bigger station. “어디?” (Where?) More finger-pointing, not at fingers this time.

We got my translator on the phone (aka my co-teacher) and confirmed that this was indeed what they were saying. “But they won’t tell me where it is,” I tell Kyung Yoon. “Oh, they are going to take you there.”

WHAT? as if that would EVER happen in the USA. Two officers grab their hats, dust the crumbs from their lips, and open both the door to the station and the door to the police car. I hop in the back and off we go. 15 minutes later I am escorted into a huge station (both doors opened for me yet again, the only thing missing was the cuffs) and lead to a back room. No one speaks English, they find some private investigator looking guy who shows up five minutes later, before this happens a dozen young (and not too shabby looking) officers file into the room from another small room and stare at me. They mumble to each other in Korean and one boldly says, “beautiful.” Well, this isn’t awkward at all.

After arguing with private investigator look-a-like about what I needed he finally just gives in and lets some guy take my finger prints (he was convinced he needed to contact someone before doing so, though I clearly said I just wanted prints to send back to the States). By the time my left hand was all inked up he exclaimed, “Oh! I understand.” I would have been sarcastic with him, but I was sitting in a police station after all and I had already been sent to the principal’s office at school that day for leaving the country without permission.

In the principal’s office it took everything I had in me not to laugh when the first phrases translated to me was, “Do you know your fault?” Getting scolded for doing something legitimately wrong in ENGLISH is one thing, I will admit my fault. But getting scolded in Korean and then having it translated to me when I know fully well I did nothing bad, well it tends to be kind of funny. I held it together, kept my head bowed and said, “죄송합니다.” (“I am sorry.”) That did the trick, I am forgiven.

This week I played a game with my students where I blindfolded one person and had their teammates give them directions around the classroom to find my water bottle. It was hilarious. Except when one kid ran up to a boy who was blindfolded and put both his middle fingers up. Not so funny.

I taught one class today.

You know when you go on a trip and come home and your mailbox is full? You have an overflowing inbox in your Gmail account? Your apartment is nice and clean from not living in it for a week? I love these things. I got home late last night. Mailbox, empty. Email, three new messages. Fresh apartment! Nope, left it dirty.

On the bright side the sun is shining today and I haven’t heard news of me getting fired for leaving the country without permission. This is good.

I called my mother to wish her Happy Mother’s Day. I am a good daughter. Wish I could have been a GREAT daughter and said that something was in the mail, oops.

Hong Kong was excellent, more on that later. Busan was lovely as well (a beach city way south of Seoul), excellent weather for a very traditional Korean wedding. Congrats Chris.

After the couple was pronounced husband and wife Chris had to carry her on his back. They threw rice. I laughed. But so did everyone else, out of joy (like me...). Great wedding.

I taught one class today. The kids were crazy after their mini-holiday. Time to go write a mass email and eat my birthday cake from my co-teacher . But no worries, my actual birthday isn’t until the 17th. Kyung Yoon woke up after two hours of sleep a little out of it and got confused on the way to school thinking it was my birthday… which I don’t mind at all, early birthday cake? YES.

What's left of my early birthday cake. Dinner, dessert, and breakfast tomorrow? YES.

oops.

Turns out when I was fated to title my last post “running away” it actually became REAL LIFE. What kind of school gives you a holiday and then assigns a mandatory training day on the Friday of said holiday? Oh, that would be my school. Apparently, I don’t have permission to leave the country when I am given days off. Apparently, Korean teachers aren’t even allowed to have second jobs. Apparently, I could get fired for not showing up to this “training” (it is really a cultural field trip full of nothingness to try to show that foreign English teachers can ‘learn about Korean culture and teach too!’ but instead of getting this experience actually working in the schools the district spends a bunch of money on pointless trips that I have never complained about before because it gave me a day away from school, but now I am upset).

It comes down to the fact that my VP (vice principal, helloooo) is not giving me permission to go to Hong Kong, and we can’t bypass her and ask the principal (who would definitely give me permission cause I am cool and full of awesomeness) because, you know, Korea has this hierarchy thing that is more important than kimchi to them (okay maybe tied with kimchi).

I am a good person too. And now I have my c0-teacher and head teacher (of the English department who is the first go-to in the hierarchy) lying on my behalf. “Oh we didn’t know she was going to Hong Kong, she had to leave early on Tuesday because she was sick.”…”Oh, she told us she was going to the training on Friday,  but we can’t get a hold of her. Maybe she is still sick?”

Looks like I may be coming back to the U.S.A. sooner than I thought if I get fired. Can I sleep in the scrap-booking room mom?

running away? yes.

South Korea may get some things wrong. But there are a lot of things that this country has dialed in. For example, this Wednesday is Children’s Day, a day Koreans have set aside to celebrate… well, Children. It is a National Holiday in Korea. Nice. Children get presents. Parents get the day off work. Win-win.

My birthday is coming up and my sister sent me a card that said, “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” Which leads me to pointing out that the people who benefit the most from Children’s Day are not the children, or the parents, but me. And people like me (not people like me, but people who are like me, though people like too, but that is beside the point). I get a day free of responsibility and I don’t have to buy a present for my child, since I am child-free. I love staying immature.

My school took into consideration the fact that Children’s Day falls on a Wednesday this year and gave us Thursday and Friday off as well. TRIPLE SCORE. I have decided to take this five-day vacation and visit Hong Kong (happy early birthday to ME) with some girlfriends. The trip happened so fast I haven’t even packed yet and I am leaving tomorrow right after school. Oops.

Hong Kong here I come, I hear there’s lots of shopping to be done there. Great, because no one shops in Korea. Breath of fresh air.

these lights are prettyyyyyyyy.

Picture courtesy of this website, thanks friends.